Friday, 26 April 2013

Five Minute Friday: Friend

Five minute Friday.
Write. Don't check, or edit, just write for the pure love of it.
The prompt is FRIEND

I had a card from a friend today.
We started as colleagues.
Our paths crossed a few times.
But over the past year she has become a friend.

And as a friend
She knew what this weekend meant for us.
She remembered.
She acted.

But friends are all different aren't they?
Over the past 12 months our friends have been:

Some practical
Some ever-present
Some prayerful
Some encouraging
Some business as usual
Some helpless
Some distant
And sadly, some very noticeable by their absence.

I don't blame them
It's not been easy to be our friend this year.

But I thank God for all of them
And pray that the absent ones are not gone forever.

I'm also challenged.
"If you want a friend, be a friend"
The saying goes.

I pray my friends will always know where to come.
And if not, that I'll meet them where they are.
And when I fail as a friend
As I often do
That God will remind me of how blessed I am
And help me to reach out.

Tuesday, 23 April 2013

In praise of trampolining.

I've just been on the trampoline.

It's not great practice for a woman in her mid 40's who has given birth to three children.
But I managed to escape without a mishap...

Anyway
Back to the trampoline.
It's 10ft and it dominates our garden.
In some ways it's too big.
But it offers so many possibilities.

Today for instance:

Chris has been on it as part of his toning up for summer regime.
This is serious stuff.
I watched intently...

The eldest two boys and a friend spent half an hour on it while I sat close by.

And in that time,
We laughed
they played

they chatted
we chatted

we shared 'stuff'
we planned
we laughed.

A bit later
Our youngest worked out some of his angst on it.
It's tough being 11.
Then he smiled
And we laughed

I joined him,
We chatted.

I bounced,
He laughed.

And there we were.

Sharing life
Sharing love
Around a big bouncy thing in the garden.

And I was reminded that all is Grace.
It's not about where we are
What we are doing
What we plan or facilitate.

It's about being.
And in that place
God is.

I love my boys.
I love the men they're becoming.
I love listening to them as they try to work out their place in the world.

More than that I love that God is here.
Right in the thick of it.
Bouncing on the trampoline as we speak.

All is grace.

Friday, 19 April 2013

Five Minute Friday: Jump

Five minute Friday.
Write. Don't check, or edit, just write for the pure love of it.
The prompt is
JUMP

GO:
I sat reading all the posts.
Jump is today's word.
My first thought was being 70ft up in Derbyshire.
Not so much as a jump as a shuffle.
But I was so high up.
And I daren't look down.
Even to find my foothold....

Just jump.

And today I ran.
For the first time in years.
I've thought about it.
Read about it.
Talked about it.
Procrastinated over it.
But today I did it.

Just jump....

And my writing?
Well that's been a bit quiet if I'm honest.
But as I read other people's posts about hop-scotch and puddles...
These great writers who seem to see right into my heart and mind
And write what they find...
I can't write like they can.
But they encourage me,
Love me,
Inspire me...

Just jump....

Jump when you don't know how secure the landing is.
Jump when you feel afraid.
Jump when you're not sure what God is saying.
Jump when you don't know what the future holds.
Just jump.

STOP 5 mins is up.

Monday, 8 April 2013

On hitting the wall.

It's Marathon season.
Every few minutes on any given networking site I see requests with links to justgiving.
If I'm honest I'm a little jealous.
Not necessarily of the Marathon,
But of the decision to do something,
Then putting in the work,
And then bringing it to a joyful, if exhausted, speechless, conclusion.

I feel as if I've hit the famous 'Wall' that marathon runners speak of.
My recovery has been good so far.
I can chat to people now.
I can laugh.
I can enjoy family life with Chris and the boys.
I can go to unknown places with less fear.
I can make arrangements and stick to them.

I'm doing more and more in Sunday Worship
Kids Stuff....
Songs...
Reading Scripture...
Praying...

Leading Worship and Preaching is stuff that energises me.
I've missed it.

And this Sunday I've offered to preach.
A sermon.
A proper one.
I know....

But you know, sometimes I still feel the fear.
The anxiety.
The raised heartbeat.
The quiver of my lip.
The tears springing to my eyes,
And rolling silently down my face.
The sinking feeling within me.
The hot flush.
(Though the last one could be something else entirely...)

Our future is still uncertain.

I know it is for everyone, but still;
Doors are closing gently, one by one...

I trust Him

Oh how I trust Him

But I still see this long, and winding road reaching far into the distance.
And I don't know if recovery
And healing
And ministry in it's fullest sense,
is at the end of it.

I know that God knows.
He knows that I know He knows.
It helps, of course it does.
And yet.....

These are the verses I've been given recently

Stand at the crossroads and look;
Ask for the ancient paths,
Ask where the good way is, and walk in it,
And you will find rest for your souls.
Jeremiah 6:16


PS I know the end bit says
"But you said, ‘We will not walk in it.’"
I'm pondering that bit.

Trust in the Lord and do good;
Dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.

Take delight in the Lord,
And he will give you the desires of your heart.

Commit your way to the Lord;
Trust in him and he will do this:
Psalm 37:3-5

So for now,
At this wall,

I will mainly be:

Standing

Looking

Asking

Resting

Trusting

Doing

Delighting

Commiting

And ooh look, it's there again!
Trusting.

Join me?

Please comment at the bottom.
I'd love to hear how it is for you.
Maybe you've been there?
Maybe you are there?
Look forward to hearing from you.

PS I wrote this in Five Minute Friday style,
Even though it's Monday.
I just wrote, and wrote,
No corrections or adjustments.
These are the thoughts of my heart.